---

Having said that, of course, I wouldn't bother telling anyone about your crusade, as having got this far you are irredeemably stamped as having nothing better to do. For all the role-playing buffs out there, here's the information that you lot have to know about anything before it can exist in your made-up worlds.

Name

The Lipstick of Water

Made Up Name

The Lost Gob Balm of Quexacotl

Powers

Can distract amorous taxi drivers

Can be used to cover stains left on walls by Blu-Tac

Can it be used to cast spells?

Sadly, no. It is - after all - only a lipstick. To be honest with you, it's not even that wet.

So I can't use it to wreak a devastating revenge against the bully at school?

Again, no. In fact, if you show them the lipstick, and shout "I wield the Lost Balm of Quexacotl", the bullying is very likely to get much, much, worse.

I wet myself.

Your mother must be very proud.