EPISODE ONE : PIT FLICK

FIRST DRAFT
My first experience with Hell'z Kitchen was to be shown a two minute animation of some vegetables watching a pornographical movie. Thinking that I would be a proper little pragmatist and save everyone a lot of time if I didn't change anything, I didn't. I watched the movie again and again, adding no gestures, adding no scenes.

Thinking that there was little variety, I had the idea that Pauli could have been turned to evil by an ever-increasing catalogue of misfortune. This one addition was my favourite scene.

REVISIONS

My favourite scene in this episode, in which Pauli is distracted from the care of his chilidren by a damn big pile of soil, was removed. The second he leaves them, they are killed in cartoonish ways - and when he discovers the spoils of his neglect, he breaks down and scoops up their mushy remains in his hands, taking solace in the fact that - at least - they taste pretty good. This scene was removed - ostensibly - because of time restrictions. Considering that the "Fop Cops" skit was added afterwards, I am tempted to think that the themes of neglect and parental cannibalism were a little spicy for the first episode.

EPISODE TWO : LOLA

Originally episode 6, everyone liked Lola so much that she was introduced earlier. This is the first episode that I wrote entirely from scratch; based solely on a drunken pub conversation with

EPISODE THREE : THE TURD OF TROY

Another episode that had been planned before my arrival on the scene.

EPISODE NINE : HYPNOTWIST

They may have scuppered the cannibalism in the first episode, so I was determined to get it in somewhere else. Cucumber McKenna's dual worlds of mystery and cannibalism provided me with that outlet.