MINE AND JASPER'S SONG ABOUT EVERYTHING BEING NICE

Show me a viper who takes the time,
(real nice baby uh-uh, uh-uh)
To be a bum wiper and drink lemon and lime,
(that is to do nursing work and not get too drunk but to know how to enjoy itself)
A smile on his face as he wraps round your waist,
(lovingly, rather than in a constricting sense)
And I'll show you hope for the human race.
(besides which, vipers couldn't even get around your waist, let alone constrict you)

Puppies they unite us; and puppies they is nice.
Keep them in a tiny box and feed them pilau rice.
Should they scratch or whine, shake the box 'til they shut up.
Then cut their bodies open, and take out their love...

The surgical extraction of love from puppy dogs, so that it may be used in recipes and magic spells dates back to the time of the Egyptian Pharoahs. Since then, famous figures throughout history, including Leslie Nielsen and Louis Pasteur, have coerced unwilling ladies into the sack by presenting them with a freshly butchered labrador puppy, and singing dancehall ragga songs.

Adders and vipers, they is the same thing,